


Eyecatch

by silverspatuler



Category: DAYS (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Monologue, does this actually count as angst??????, is it?? idek anymore pls save me, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 00:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10293188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverspatuler/pseuds/silverspatuler
Summary: The end justifies the means.





	1. better

**Author's Note:**

> in the writing channel of the shibakimi discord, on the 13th of March, 2017 at 9:58pm, I said:
> 
> see, the key is that i dont want to turn this into kimishita yearning for mizuki and missing him and/or angsting over him, i want it to be about kimishita fully addressing his feelings for mizuki and promptly stating that yes, theyre all gone. hes over him. goodbye, captain.
> 
> basically i just,,,want kimishita to acknowledge how much mizuki's hurt him ok
> 
> this prose thingy is just my way of empowering our poor atsushi

When I first laid my eyes on you,  
you were so beautiful, so bright, so perfect.

Perfect for me.

Perfect with me.

 

 

I was wrong, apparently.

 

 

Whatever fucked up vision I had of you then, it now only lives in the depths of my memories.

 

 

It only took a second, and one glance from you, in my direction, for my mind to recollect every detail from that first meeting;  
every sharp gasp, every step I took on the field, every teammate that ran toward that ball,  
and then you.

You, gliding, almost soaring, across the grass, painting everyone green with envy. Green, like my naïve, awe-struck eyes that saw you— _still_ see you—as perfect.

 

 

How you ran, with perfect timing, how you kicked with such accuracy, so perfectly, how you shot the ball  
so perfectly,  
_so perfectly_ ,  
and then...the sound of it hitting the net.

 

 

The colors of those memories are as vivid as the day they happened. Even now, when all I see on you are dull, dead monochrome shades of black and blue.

Black and blue, like the state in which you've left me behind.

 

 

You were...overwhelming. Everything about you was _too much._

Too bright, too good, too energetic. You were like a firework that never left the night sky, bright sparks lighting up a black reverie,  
black,  
like the uniform we wear on our backs.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, but I'm never going to let you make me feel like this again.

 

 

You distracted me so much with your blinding beauty. You blinded me. Love—the feeling you awoke in me—is blind, as they say.

 

 

But I can thank you for one thing.

You made me fall in love with you, which in turn made me suffer greatly. And I hate it, but...

I see now I deserved that pain. It was simply punishment from the gods, telling me I was blind, and that I deserved to be hurt, for I...

 

 

I had hurt someone in turn.

 

 

I still can't believe I lived until the day when my world stopped revolving around you.

My life before then was hell. Every movement, every sound, every touch, you left such a deep impression on me that I _suffered through every single waking moment of my life thinking about you._

 

 

I loved you.

 

 

It hurt to love you.

 

 

I almost died loving you.

 

 

But...

 

 

I survived.

 


	2. us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think this is as good as the previous chapter, but here you go, the ooshiba epilogue.

When you look at him,  
he is so beautiful,  
so perfect.

No other words are necessary to describe him, nothing in your vocabulary, anyway. But who cares? You don’t need to put it into words. You have him right there with you, right in front of you. There was no need for thinking, all you had to do was _feel._

 

And it felt _right_.

 

You hold him close,  
and he—fitting perfectly into your arms—holds you closer. Pulls you in.

And you,  
well,  
you’ve got it bad.

 

You return the favor,  
you grab onto him,  
cling to him tight.

You make sure he knows you won’t hurt him the same way he’s been hurt before.

You tell him,  
again  
and again.

(He knows.)

 

Everything about him was…overwhelming.

If this is what love felt like, you never want to feel it for anyone else.

You gave him your heart (he made it throb with unfamiliar pain),  
your lungs (he knocked all the air out of them),  
and even your voice (he made you say things that you never thought could come out of your mouth).

 

You’re desperate to keep him. There isn’t a soul in the world like him. There’s no way. You love him so much, _too much_ , and you’re desperate to hold on to him for as long as you can, because he can be so easily lost.

You don’t want to lose him. You love it when he tells you the same. Of course, he never says those exact words, but you can feel it.

That’s what it’s all about. Feelings. You love him, he loves you, and you are grateful.

 

Who cares about the past? All that mattered was the present moment, when he’s right in front you, green eyes afire with passion and spirit.

You love it.

You love him.

 

You tell him,  
you tell him everything.

 

If there was anything else to be said—and oh, there were millions of things—you wouldn’t know how to say them. You’ll only end up saying the same things over and over again.

This is what he does to you.

He makes you forget,  
and suddenly your thoughts become repetitive,  
redundant,  
and he makes you _happy_.

Like everything in the world stopped mattering.

He feels like he can be happy, as well. Once he feels like that, you’ve accomplished your mission. And afterwards, you continue to love him even more than you already do.

 

And finally,

 

finally,

 

_finally,_

 

he’s okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that ending was a little...ehhh....imo, and i might actually edit it some time in the future, but whatever. hope you enjoyed!


End file.
